wake up call

What in the world was she doing? Here, in a garage of a gas station. Cherry thought of making an exit. This very second. But she didn't budge from the bed. Why wasn't she moving? Wasn't that she was paralyzed.

She didn't have a good answer about being with Brick. Unfortunately.

Cherry knew she always fell for the wrong guy. Brick was probably the wrong guy. Yet, she was lost. She was. And there was a time when she looked down on everyone in her family. That she was better than they were. And yes, she did make it to the Uni for about a year. Some college education. She was away from a mother who kept finding boyfriends to travel with. Usually, this meant saying goodbye to her a lot. Images of her Mom on the back of some motorcyle with some dude who looked like he could be from ZZ Tops. Or was that Stops. She didn't listen to that kind of music.

Somehow, she felt completely responsible for losing her little sister Maddie. It was a sadness that she knew she couldn't quite overcome. Maybe if she went to taking antidepressants like her mom, she'd forget too. But she really didn't want to forget Maddie.

Well. She had to get dressed if she were leaving. And she was. Although, her mom had sold the house and was somewhere in the Black Hills now with a white guy even though, she had always wanted a son of a Native American. Cherry hoped she never had her mother's rational. Exactly. She hoped she was capable of taking care of herself. But by the looks of it, she might be having to take care of Brick too. Who was still dead to the world asleep.

She stared at him, thinking this was what she should do. Walk out that door and never come back, but she smelled coffee from Dil's place so she went upstairs instead.

"I'm going to go." She pressed her hands around the hot mug of coffee.

"But you just got here." He looked at her puzzled as he put baby Emma in the wind up swing. Emma was very content as she looked at both of them, curiously.

"I mean, with Brick." She looked at Dil.

"Oh." Dil looked kind of worried. "I was hoping you'd be around. Um, just in case, you know, I'd rather you watch Emma instead of Brick."

"Me?" She almost laughed.

"She needs a woman around and you know, you're a pretty good role model. For the most part. Even if you are with Brick who-"

"What?" She was concerned what he meant about Brick.

"Nothing." He shrugged.

"It isn't nothing. Tell me?" She pressed.

"What's he told you?" Dil wanted to know.

"Not much. You're not saying.... I'm his first?" She wanted to say she hated that idea and yet she liked it all the more.

"Maybe?" Dil winced.

"How can that be? He's hot." She winced.

"And...gay." Dil shrugged.

"Seriously?" She'd definitely not gotten that vibe. She sat down to think on this. "Maybe I should go." She was baffled. Kind of hurt. OK, the more she thought on it. Really, hurt. She squinted hard, but no tears came. How many nights had they been together? It was like nonstop with him. An illness, perhaps.

"No. No, don't. You need to just figure this out with Brick." Dil told her. She took another sip of coffee. Yes, it was still waking her up. She looked at Emma then. Suddenly, there was something so familiar about Emma, but she didn't know what.